Positive Discipline helps children learn self-discipline, responsibility, and problem-solving through kindness and firmness, rather than punishment.  It focuses on solutions, future growth, and

smoother interactions, rather than shaming children for past

mistakes. (Developed by Dr. Jane Nelsen)

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In this seminar, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Maria Anguiano discuss praise vs. encouragement, using mistakes as learning opportunities, screen time, and struggling isn't the same as suffering.

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Praise vs. Encouragement

Praise focuses on the result or being good - "You're very smart!", and "Good job!".  It can create dependence on external approval.

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Encouragement focuses on effort, progress and skills - "I love how you kept trying!" and "You worked hard and figured it out!".  It fosters confidence, resilience and intrinsic motivation.

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Using mistakes as learning opportunities

Mistakes are a natural part of learning and growth.  When children feel safe enough to make mistakes, they develop confidence and resilience.  After a mistake is made ask questions such as "What happened?", "What can we learn?", or "What can we try next time?".

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Common mistakes include

• Interrupting others

• Not taking turns

• Forgetting homework

• Not following instructions carefully

• Throwing a ball inside the house

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As parents and caregivers, we may need to learn or practice a specific skill.  Ask yourself "What skill, if learned and practiced well, would help them avoid making this mistake in the future?".

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Regarding screen time - set clear expectations, rules and routines.  Tell children HOW they can earn screen time and avoid automatically giving it to them.  Follow through on the rules and routines you've established.